


for whom the bell tolls

by blue--phantom (twilightscribe)



Series: The Exarch Files [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Angst and Porn, Au Ra Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Au Ra Xaela (Final Fantasy XIV), Kinktober 2019, M/M, Masturbation, Memories, One Shot, Sexual Fantasy, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21567892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilightscribe/pseuds/blue--phantom
Summary: He wakes in the dead of night with shivers racing down his spine and the lingering ghosts of a dream trailing fingers across his skin.Written for 2019's Kinktober.
Relationships: G'raha Tia | Crystal Exarch/Warrior of Light
Series: The Exarch Files [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1554355
Kudos: 23





	for whom the bell tolls

He wakes in the dead of night with shivers racing down his spine and the lingering ghosts of a dream trailing fingers across his skin.

Tears prick at the corners of his eyes, and he presses the butt of his palm hard against his eyes to stop them from forming. It helps, but only just, yet does nothing for the ache between his thighs — which continues to insistently throb alongside the beat of his aching heart.

Still, the memories of the dream linger. Slowly, he lays back down and bites his lip — though there’s no one to hear his cries within the confines of his rooms and the tower itself — yet old habits die hard and _didn’t you always find it attractive?_

There is a sudden, sharp pang in his chest at the thought, but he brushes it aside as he fists one hand — crystallized, it’s not the same as _his_ touch — in the sheets, while he wraps the other around his throbbing erection.

His breath comes in sharp pants, a high whistling behind the grit of his teeth.

_Cai would… Cai would…_

The words echo sharply in his head. That thin wall he had erected to keep the memories back shatters, opening the floodgates and _oh_ how he remembers now.

Cai’s hands are rough against his skin, calluses dragging across the skin and making him whimper, wanting more but not at the same time. He likes to tease, but knows when he needs it — to go slow when needed, fast and hard otherwise. The heady taste of adrenalin on his tongue when they kissed, the thrill of a new discovery.

(Behind it all, the taste of _concern_ , that Cai didn’t fully know what was happening to him, how it would all end.)

Teeth at the side of his neck, dragging, but not hard enough to leave lasting marks. Those are saved for between his thighs, his hips, and across his chest — all intimate places, and he presses a hand over his heart to feel the fluttering beat, twisting his hand and muffling a moan behind his lips.

It’s never enough, just his hand on himself. He craves… he wants… but he’s afraid that if he gives in, touches himself where Cai once would, he might disrupt that delicate balance. He doesn’t want to forget, wants to remember, keep the memories to himself even though they hurt like almost nothing else.

He bites through his lip, tastes blood on his tongue, and the pain mixes with the pleasure as his orgasm crests within him. Gently, he milks himself until he’s spent, till it tingles a little to much, and drops his hand to the side, still breathing heavily.

_“G’raha…”_

Cai’s voice echoes in his head and he turns his head to the side, whimpering softly.

“You always ask more of me…”

He can hear the smile in his words, _“Because I know you have more to give.”_

“Only for you.”

He blinks his eyes open, the phantom of his lover vanishing as he does. Above him, the crystalline walls of the tower sparkle, even in the dim light that permeates it.

_I miss you._

He rolls onto his side, away from his spill, and curls up, tears once more pricking at his eyes, though this time he does nothing to stop them from falling. The ache within his chest grows to a howl, echoing loudly between his ears and ribs.

_I **will** save you this time. I promise._

**Author's Note:**

>  **Prompt:** Masturbation/Solo  
>  **Words:** 578 words
> 
> -rolls into the ship she has been gestating fic ideas for since she finished ShB- You're welcome for heavy angst and feels with your porn. I'll be back later with more, I promise.


End file.
